The importance of talking to kids about feelings
Why I filmed an author read-aloud of my story...
A little while ago I filmed an author read-aloud. *Gulp*. #butterflytummy
It isn’t easy putting myself out there and I felt pretty awkward sitting in front of my laptop trying to show the pictures against a tiny screen. But I did this because it demonstrates how we can talk to little ones about our feelings.
My boys LOVE talking about the feelings of the characters in books. ‘Is he sad?’ ‘Is he angry?’ They ALWAYS examine the pictures for evidence of emotions on characters’ faces and then grill me about it. This is an excellent teaching opportunity to improve emotional literacy. We can explain the emotion the character is experiencing and then we can talk to our kids about times when they have experienced similar emotions, how it feels in their bodies and what they can do if it is a not-so-nice emotion.
The more open we are with the channel of communication with our little ones and the more we welcome the full spectrum of emotions, the more we bond with them, the safer they feel being truthful to us - without being ashamed of their experience. Life is all about the ups and downs. All this adds up to a strengthening of the long-term relationship we have with our kids. That’s my theory anyway. I will check in when my kids reach their teenage years.😉
I crafted my book, The Little Tiger with the Big Temper, to demonstrate how Tootles the tiger cub goes through a rainbow of emotions in one day. It is designed to be an interactive experience that engages the adult and child in mindfulness tools. It’s called ‘mindfulness practice’ for a reason… it’s great in theory, but it’s amazing in practice. You have to do ‘the work’.
Back to Tootles.
His day starts off pretty badly. He hasn’t had enough sleep - so nothing feels right. (As a part-time insomniac, I can relate to this 🤣). He has an angry outburst and storms off, which leaves him feeling lonely. When his friend Pippin checks in on him, he’s pretty glum until she reassures him that his experience is normal and it won’t last - it’s just a feeling. She shares a time when she felt a similar way. He feels validated and seen. At this point, he is ready to be soothed. So, she offers to teach him belly breathing and his emotion turns to curiosity, then happiness when he realises that being in the present moment and belly breathing has helped to change his emotional state. He also feels a pang of guilt when he realised he acted out towards the people he loved and wants to say sorry.
The story is relatable for adults and children too. Children are still learning about emotions and can experience really big feelings in response to situations that don’t seem like a big deal to us. But their experience IS real to them and knowing how to handle it is important. I wanted to show adults a coping strategy that helps us to navigate a child’s big feelings with calm confidence. I needed these tools for myself because when they need me the most is when they are being their most challenging. And boy do we have to step up at those times. I am not a perfect mother, but I’m determined to do my best.
So, I hope this is useful to someone. Remember, stories shouldn’t be rushed. Don’t worry about interrupting the rhyme or rhythm - kids truly don’t care. These formative years are the perfect time to discuss and learn. And with my book, my hope is that readers of all ages will come away feeling calm and settled and with the tools to cope with life’s challenges with greater resilience.
xo